| Text or lyrics : | Ladies and women, unaccustomed as I am to speaking in public, I now undress myself before you. The subject of this evenin’s discourse am the world. What am the world? Nothin’ but a great big ball goin’ round and round on its own axle-tree. Go on! [hits something for emphasis] Stick a pin thar, Brother Horace! In the words of the immortal Teddy, corns am sore, so am bunions; roses smell and so does onions. Did not William Jennings Bryan preach sixteen to one and free silver? Now we have sixteen to one applicants to every one job, and that’s why President Wilson in his inaugural speech said, “Sic semper tomatis” [and more fake Latin I can’t decipher, hits something for emphasis], and don’t stick a pin thar, Brother Horace! And now, in conclusion, in the words of William J. Dana, Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down, broke a two dollar bill, and the mayor got a dollar and a quarter. [rumbling]
[transcribed by Patrick Feaster].
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